When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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