On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
