that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
