at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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