then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
