Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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