I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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