my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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