yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
