Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
