He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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