I look better un-naked...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
