he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
