batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
