WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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