third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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