You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
