I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
