Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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