Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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