At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You smell like stripper and shame
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
