Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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