friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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