garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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