"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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