You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize