So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
