This girl is more easily done than said...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
