high people should be assigned attendants
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
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