I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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