Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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