oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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