I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
