we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
