discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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