last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize