I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
