how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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