I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
