Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
