I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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