i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
