Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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