Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
