3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
