I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
