Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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