...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
