Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
