it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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