First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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