the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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