You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
