Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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