You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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