I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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