Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize
