i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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