oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
